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- $Unique_ID{SSP00914}
- $Title{Much Ado About Nothing: Act V, Scene I}
- $Author{Shakespeare, William}
- $Subject{}
- $Log{Dramatis Personae*00900.txt}
-
- Portions copyright (c) CMC ReSearch, Inc., 1989
-
- The Complete Works of William Shakespeare
-
- MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING
-
-
- ACT V
- ................................................................................
-
-
- SCENE I: Before LEONATO'S house.
- . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
-
- {Enter LEONATO and ANTONIO.}
-
- ANTONIO: If you go on thus, you will kill yourself:
- And 'tis not wisdom thus to second grief
- Against yourself.
-
- LEONATO: I pray thee, cease thy counsel,
- Which falls into mine ears as profitless
- As water in a sieve: give not me counsel;
- Nor let no comforter delight mine ear
- But such a one whose wrongs do suit with mine.
- Bring me a father that so loved his child,
- Whose joy of her is overwhelm'd like mine,
- And bid him speak of patience; 10
- Measure his woe the length and breadth of mine
- And let it answer every strain for strain,
- As thus for thus and such a grief for such,
- In every lineament, branch, shape, and form:
- If such a one will smile and stroke his beard,
- Bid sorrow wag, cry 'hem!' when he should groan,
- Patch grief with proverbs, make misfortune drunk
- With candle-wasters; bring him yet to me,
- And I of him will gather patience.
- But there is no such man: for, brother, men 20
- Can counsel and speak comfort to that grief
- Which they themselves not feel; but, tasting it,
- Their counsel turns to passion, which before
- Would give preceptial medicine to rage,
- Fetter strong madness in a silken thread,
- Charm ache with air and agony with words:
- No, no; 'tis all men's office to speak patience
- To those that wring under the load of sorrow,
- But no man's virtue nor sufficiency
- To be so moral when he shall endure 30
- The like himself. Therefore give me no counsel:
- My griefs cry louder than advertisement.
-
- ANTONIO: Therein do men from children nothing differ.
-
- LEONATO: I pray thee, peace. I will be flesh and blood;
- For there was never yet philosopher
- That could endure the toothache patiently,
- However they have writ the style of gods
- And made a push at chance and sufferance.
-
- ANTONIO: Yet bend not all the harm upon yourself;
- Make those that do offend you suffer too. 40
-
- LEONATO: There thou speak'st reason: nay, I will do so.
- My soul doth tell me Hero is belied;
- And that shall Claudio know; so shall the prince
- And all of them that thus dishonor her.
-
- ANTONIO: Here comes the prince and Claudio hastily.
-
- {Enter DON PEDRO and CLAUDIO.}
-
- DON PEDRO: Good den, good den.
-
- CLAUDIO: Good day to both of you.
-
- LEONATO: Hear you. my lords,--
-
- DON PEDRO: We have some haste, Leonato.
-
- LEONATO: Some haste, my lord! well, fare you well, my lord:
- Are you so hasty now? well, all is one.
-
- DON PEDRO: Nay, do not quarrel with us, good old man. 50
-
- ANTONIO: If he could right himself with quarrelling,
- Some of us would lie low.
-
- CLAUDIO: Who wrongs him?
-
- LEONATO: Marry, thou dost wrong me; thou dissembler, thou:--
- Nay, never lay thy hand upon thy sword;
- I fear thee not.
-
- CLAUDIO: Marry, beshrew my hand,
- If it should give your age such cause of fear:
- In faith, my hand meant nothing to my sword.
-
- LEONATO: Tush, tush, man; never fleer and jest at me:
- I speak not like a dotard nor a fool,
- As under privilege of age to brag 60
- What I have done being young, or what would do
- Were I not old. Know, Claudio, to thy head,
- Thou hast so wrong'd mine innocent child and me
- That I am forced to lay my reverence by
- And, with grey hairs and bruise of many days,
- Do challenge thee to trial of a man.
- I say thou hast belied mine innocent child;
- Thy slander hath gone through and through her heart,
- And she lies buried with her ancestors;
- O, in a tomb where never scandal slept, 70
- Save this of hers, framed by thy villany!
-
- CLAUDIO: My villany?
-
- LEONATO: Thine, Claudio; thine, I say.
-
- DON PEDRO: You say not right, old man.
-
- LEONATO: My lord, my lord,
- I'll prove it on his body, if he dare,
- Despite his nice fence and his active practice,
- His May of youth and bloom of lustihood.
-
- CLAUDIO: Away! I will not have to do with you.
-
- LEONATO: Canst thou so daff me? Thou hast kill'd my child:
- If thou kill'st me, boy, thou shalt kill a man.
-
- ANTONIO: He shall kill two of us, and men indeed: 80
- But that's no matter; let him kill one first;
- Win me and wear me; let him answer me.
- Come, follow me, boy; come, sir boy, come, follow me:
- Sir boy, I'll whip you from your foining fence;
- Nay, as I am a gentleman, I will.
-
- LEONATO: Brother,--
-
- ANTONIO: Content yourself. God knows I loved my niece;
- And she is dead, slander'd to death by villains,
- That dare as well answer a man indeed
- As I dare take a serpent by the tongue: 90
- Boys, apes, braggarts, Jacks, milksops!
-
- LEONATO: Brother Antony,--
-
- ANTONIO: Hold you content. What, man! I know them, yea,
- And what they weigh, even to the utmost scruple,--
- Scrambling, out-facing, fashion-monging boys,
- That lie and cog and flout, deprave and slander,
- Go anticly, show outward hideousness,
- And speak off half a dozen dangerous words,
- How they might hurt their enemies, if they durst;
- And this is all.
-
- LEONATO: But, brother Antony,--
-
- ANTONIO: Come, 'tis no matter: 100
- Do not you meddle; let me deal in this.
-
- DON PEDRO: Gentlemen both, we will not wake your patience.
- My heart is sorry for your daughter's death:
- But, on my honor, she was charged with nothing
- But what was true and very full of proof.
-
- LEONATO: My lord, my lord,--
-
- DON PEDRO: I will not hear you.
-
- LEONATO: No? Come, brother; away! I will be heard.
-
- ANTONIO: And shall, or some of us will smart for it.
-
- [Exeunt LEONATO and ANTONIO.]
-
- DON PEDRO: See, see; here comes the man we went to seek. 110
-
- {Enter BENEDICK.}
-
- CLAUDIO: Now, signior, what news?
-
- BENEDICK: Good day, my lord.
-
- DON PEDRO: Welcome, signior: you are almost come to part
- almost a fray.
-
- CLAUDIO: We had like to have had our two noses snapped off
- with two old men without teeth.
-
- DON PEDRO: Leonato and his brother. What thinkest thou? Had
- we fought, I doubt we should have been too young
- for them.
-
- BENEDICK: In a false quarrel there is no true valor. I came 120
- to seek you both.
-
- CLAUDIO: We have been up and down to seek thee; for we are
- high-proof melancholy and would fain have it beaten
- away. Wilt thou use thy wit?
-
- BENEDICK: It is in my scabbard: shall I draw it?
-
- DON PEDRO: Dost thou wear thy wit by thy side?
-
- CLAUDIO: Never any did so, though very many have been beside
- their wit. I will bid thee draw, as we do the
- minstrels; draw, to pleasure us.
-
- DON PEDRO: As I am an honest man, he looks pale. Art thou 130
- sick, or angry?
-
- CLAUDIO: What, courage, man! What though care killed a cat,
- thou hast mettle enough in thee to kill care.
-
- BENEDICK: Sir, I shall meet your wit in the career, and you
- charge it against me. I pray you choose another
- subject.
-
- CLAUDIO: Nay, then, give him another staff: this last was
- broke cross.
-
- DON PEDRO: By this light, he changes more and more: I think
- he be angry indeed. 140
-
- CLAUDIO: If he be, he knows how to turn his girdle.
-
- BENEDICK: Shall I speak a word in your ear?
-
- CLAUDIO: God bless me from a challenge!
-
- BENEDICK: [Aside to CLAUDIO] You are a villain; I jest not:
- I will make it good how you dare, with what you
- dare, and when you dare. Do me right, or I will
- protest your cowardice. You have killed a sweet
- lady, and her death shall fall heavy on you. Let me
- hear from you.
-
- CLAUDIO: Well, I will meet you, so I may have good cheer.
-
- DON PEDRO: What, a feast, a feast? 150
-
- CLAUDIO: I' faith, I thank him; he hath bid me to a calf's
- head and a capon; the which if I do not carve most
- curiously, say my knife's naught. Shall I not find
- a woodcock too?
-
- BENEDICK: Sir, your wit ambles well; it goes easily.
-
- DON PEDRO: I'll tell thee how Beatrice praised thy wit the
- other day. I said, thou hadst a fine wit: 'True,'
- said she, 'a fine little one.' 'No,' said I, 'a
- great wit:' 'Right,' says she, 'a great gross one.'
- 'Nay,' said I, 'a good wit:' 'Just,' said she, 'it 160
- hurts nobody.' 'Nay,' said I, 'the gentleman
- is wise:' 'Certain,' said she, 'a wise gentleman.'
- 'Nay,' said I, 'he hath the tongues:' 'That I
- believe,' said she, 'for he swore a thing to me on
- Monday night, which he forswore on Tuesday morning;
- there's a double tongue; there's two tongues.' Thus
- did she, an hour together, transshape thy particular
- virtues: yet at last she concluded with a sigh, thou
- wast the properest man in Italy.
-
- CLAUDIO: For the which she wept heartily and said she cared 170
- not.
-
- DON PEDRO: Yea, that she did: but yet, for all that, an if she
- did not hate him deadly, she would love him dearly:
- the old man's daughter told us all.
-
- CLAUDIO: All, all; and, moreover, God saw him when he was
- hid in the garden.
-
- DON PEDRO: But when shall we set the savage bull's horns on
- the sensible Benedick's head?
-
- CLAUDIO: Yea, and text underneath, 'Here dwells Benedick the
- married man'? 180
-
- BENEDICK: Fare you well, boy: you know my mind. I will leave
- you now to your gossip-like humor: you break jests
- as braggarts do their blades, which God be thanked,
- hurt not. My lord, for your many courtesies I thank
- you: I must discontinue your company: your brother
- the bastard is fled from Messina: you have among
- you killed a sweet and innocent lady. For my Lord
- Lackbeard there, he and I shall meet: and, till
- then, peace be with him.
-
- [Exit.]
-
- DON PEDRO: He is in earnest. 190
-
- CLAUDIO: In most profound earnest; and, I'll warrant you, for
- the love of Beatrice.
-
- DON PEDRO: And hath challenged thee.
-
- CLAUDIO: Most sincerely.
-
- DON PEDRO: What a pretty thing man is when he goes in his
- doublet and hose and leaves off his wit!
-
- CLAUDIO: He is then a giant to an ape; but then is an ape a
- doctor to such a man.
-
- DON PEDRO: But, soft you, let me be: pluck up, my heart, and
- be sad. Did he not say, my brother was fled? 200
-
- {Enter DOGBERRY, VERGES, and the Watch, with CONRADE
- and BORACHIO.}
-
- DOGBERRY: Come you, sir: if justice cannot tame you, she
- shall ne'er weigh more reasons in her balance: nay,
- an you be a cursing hypocrite once, you must be
- looked to.
-
- DON PEDRO: How now? two of my brother's men bound! Borachio
- one!
-
- CLAUDIO: Hearken after their offence, my lord.
-
- DON PEDRO: Officers, what offence have these men done?
-
- DOGBERRY: Marry, sir, they have committed false report;
- moreover, they have spoken untruths; secondarily, 210
- they are slanders; sixth and lastly, they have
- belied a lady; thirdly, they have verified unjust
- things; and, to conclude, they are lying knaves.
-
- DON PEDRO: First, I ask thee what they have done; thirdly, I
- ask thee what's their offence; sixth and lastly, why
- they are committed; and, to conclude, what you lay
- to their charge.
-
- CLAUDIO: Rightly reasoned, and in his own division: and, by
- my troth, there's one meaning well suited.
-
- DON PEDRO: Who have you offended, masters, that you are thus 220
- bound to your answer? this learned constable is
- too cunning to be understood: what's your offence?
-
- BORACHIO: Sweet prince, let me go no farther to mine answer:
- do you hear me, and let this count kill me. I have
- deceived even your very eyes: what your wisdoms
- could not discover, these shallow fools have brought
- to light: who in the night overheard me confessing
- to this man how Don John your brother incensed me
- to slander the Lady Hero, how you were brought into
- the orchard and saw me court Margaret in Hero's 230
- garments, how you disgraced her, when you should
- marry her: my villany they have upon record; which
- I had rather seal with my death than repeat over
- to my shame. The lady is dead upon mine and my
- master's false accusation; and, briefly, I desire
- nothing but the reward of a villain.
-
- DON PEDRO: Runs not this speech like iron through your blood?
-
- CLAUDIO: I have drunk poison whiles he utter'd it.
-
- DON PEDRO: But did my brother set thee on to this?
-
- BORACHIO: Yea, and paid me richly for the practice of it. 240
-
- DON PEDRO: He is composed and framed of treachery:
- And fled he is upon this villany.
-
- CLAUDIO: Sweet Hero! now thy image doth appear
- In the rare semblance that I loved it first.
-
- DOGBERRY: Come, bring away the plaintiffs: by this time our
- sexton hath reformed Signior Leonato of the matter:
- and, masters, do not forget to specify, when time
- and place shall serve, that I am an ass.
-
- VERGES: Here, here comes master Signior Leonato, and the
- Sexton too. 250
-
- {Re-enter LEONATO and ANTONIO, with the Sexton.}
-
- LEONATO: Which is the villain? let me see his eyes,
- That, when I note another man like him,
- I may avoid him: which of these is he?
-
- BORACHIO: If you would know your wronger, look on me.
-
- LEONATO: Art thou the slave that with thy breath hast kill'd
- Mine innocent child?
-
- BORACHIO: Yea, even I alone.
-
- LEONATO: No, not so, villain; thou beliest thyself:
- Here stand a pair of honorable men;
- A third is fled, that had a hand in it.
- I thank you, princes, for my daughter's death: 260
- Record it with your high and worthy deeds:
- 'Twas bravely done, if you bethink you of it.
-
- CLAUDIO: I know not how to pray your patience;
- Yet I must speak. Choose your revenge yourself;
- Impose me to what penance your invention
- Can lay upon my sin: yet sinn'd I not
- But in mistaking.
-
- DON PEDRO: By my soul, nor I:
- And yet, to satisfy this good old man,
- I would bend under any heavy weight
- That he'll enjoin me to. 270
-
- LEONATO: I cannot bid you bid my daughter live;
- That were impossible: but, I pray you both,
- Possess the people in Messina here
- How innocent she died; and if your love
- Can labor ought in sad invention,
- Hang her an epitaph upon her tomb
- And sing it to her bones, sing it to-night:
- To-morrow morning come you to my house,
- And since you could not be my son-in-law,
- Be yet my nephew: my brother hath a daughter, 280
- Almost the copy of my child that's dead,
- And she alone is heir to both of us:
- Give her the right you should have given her cousin,
- And so dies my revenge.
-
- CLAUDIO: O noble sir,
- Your over-kindness doth wring tears from me!
- I do embrace your offer; and dispose
- For henceforth of poor Claudio.
-
- LEONATO: To-morrow then I will expect your coming;
- To-night I take my leave. This naughty man
- Shall face to face be brought to Margaret, 290
- Who I believe was pack'd in all this wrong,
- Hired to it by your brother.
-
- BORACHIO: No, by my soul, she was not,
- Nor knew not what she did when she spoke to me,
- But always hath been just and virtuous
- In any thing that I do know by her.
-
- DOGBERRY: Moreover, sir, which indeed is not under white and
- black, this plaintiff here, the offender, did call
- me ass: I beseech you, let it be remembered in his
- punishment. And also, the watch heard them talk of
- one Deformed: they say be wears a key in his ear and 300
- a lock hanging by it, and borrows money in God's
- name, the which he hath used so long and never paid
- that now men grow hard-hearted and will lend nothing
- for God's sake: pray you, examine him upon that
- point.
-
- LEONATO: I thank thee for thy care and honest pains.
-
- DOGBERRY: Your worship speaks like a most thankful and
- reverend youth; and I praise God for you.
-
- LEONATO: There's for thy pains.
-
- DOGBERRY: God save the foundation! 310
-
- LEONATO: Go, I discharge thee of thy prisoner, and I thank
- thee.
-
- DOGBERRY: I leave an arrant knave with your worship; which I
- beseech your worship to correct yourself, for the
- example of others. God keep your worship! I wish
- your worship well; God restore you to health! I
- humbly give you leave to depart; and if a merry
- meeting may be wished, God prohibit it! Come,
- neighbor.
-
- [Exeunt DOGBERRY and VERGES.]
-
- LEONATO: Until to-morrow morning, lords, farewell. 320
-
- ANTONIO: Farewell, my lords: we look for you to-morrow.
-
- DON PEDRO: We will not fail.
-
- CLAUDIO: To-night I'll mourn with Hero.
-
- LEONATO: [To the Watch] Bring you these fellows on. We'll
- talk with Margaret,
- How her acquaintance grew with this lewd fellow.
-
- [Exeunt, severally.]
-